My prayer box has been coming open for the last few days. It's never come open before. I bought it in March after Mark passed and intended on filling it with some of his ashes and making a trip to cowboys stadium to sprinkle them on the star. I still need to do that. In the meantime I've been wearing it on my charm bracelet. I've sent up lots of prayers since Mark moved to heaven. I've prayed for strength, endurance, wisdom, discernment, and patience. Most recently I prayed that God would send me a helper, another partner in this life who will be good to me and take care of me like Mark did, especially if I'm going to go through more hard times. I don't want to struggle alone. So that's been my latest prayer.
Since then a man has come into my life and shown interest and wants to get to know me better. I find myself getting excited to hear from him and I miss hearing from him when the day goes by and he hasn't texted. I don't want to pursue or be clingy so I'm letting things be and play out as they will. When I haven't heard from him all day I'll talk to God and say God if he's not the man for me, make it known to me and turn my attention elsewhere. But if he is make it known as well. Then my phone rings and there he is so I'm trusting and moving forward with caution.
Even though I'm being cautious I feel like I could easily fall for him and that scares me. I don't want to fall so fast that I fall flat on my face. I want to fall into arms that will catch me, like the trust game. I don't know his intentions. I get the feeling he is ready for this but how do I know for sure. How do I know he's not a player, philandering around instead of being happy with what he's got? How do I know he's not a liar, a cheater, or a wife beater? Only time will tell. I just pray I don't get hurt. I've been hurt enough already.
My prayer box has been popping open lately. Are my prayers getting answered? Is this God's hand at work again? Or is it just coincidence? Only time will tell. We shall see.
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