I’m thankful that I got the chance to love, really love, & be loved like I did.
I’m thankful that I had a husband that helped me show my son how to be a good man.
I’m thankful that I was able to experience God’s love and mercy and forgiveness in my husband’s arms, in a tangible way.
I’m thankful that he let me love him & lead him through this life and that he loved me until he left this earth.
I’m thankful that God has been with me through it all, before, during, and after. He’s been my protector and provider and has made His presence known so that I have peace in a very difficult time.
I’m thankful for my friends and family, my tribe, who have been there for me in more ways than I can mention.
I’m thankful for the people who have been constants in my life and have always been my safe place to land.
I’m thankful for God’s provision and for blessing me with the ability to pass my licensing boards this time last year. It’s allowed me to provide for my son and I and not have to make any lifestyle changes after losing Mark. We’ve had to change so much already.
I’m thankful for my work family. They’ve prayed over me, prayed with me, prayed for me, hugged me, heard me, made me laugh, supported me, and given me purpose.
I’m thankful for Tindell, my boss. Words can’t say enough about this woman. She has a heart of gold and gives unselfishly and is superwoman! I look up to her so much and am so thankful she brought me into the family.
I’m thankful for my parents who are always there, no more than a phone call away. I gave ‘em hell growing up but they never gave up on me. They’ve always supported me, loved me, pushed me, praised me, and made me the woman I am today. I don’t know what I would do without them.
I’m thankful for my sweet son. He’s such a good boy and doesn’t give me any problems (for the most part). He’s a teenager but he’s the most affectionate, wise, considerate 13 year old I know. He’s been through a lot and is still getting his bearings and learning how to be a man without a man in the house to look up to, but he’ll get it. We’ll figure it out and come out on the other side of this stronger and smarter.
I’m thankful for my church family, both in Mansfield @ TCAL and here @.Vista. They’ve done a great job of preaching and teaching and being a place of comfort and strength. I spend time in the prayer room often and find peace there, sitting at the foot of the cross.
I’m thankful for my GriefShare group and “feather friends,” others who have lost a loved one and suffer with me. We’re like birds of a feather, we flock together. They get me. We get each other.
I’m thankful for my ministry. I prayed a few years ago that God would lead me to be a good teacher to others and give me the words and the platform to lead others to Christ. He did. Although it’s not exactly the way I wanted things to go, I’m accepting my mission and bringing God the glory through it all. Where you go, I go. Lead the way Lord. Lead me to lead them.
I’m thankful for my gifts. I’ve been told I have the gift of being a good writer.and speaker and that my story and testimony have touched others. Thank you God for allowing me to use my gifts to do your work. I pray that you make clear to me what you want me to do next.
I’m thankful that I’m learning to live again. I’m thankful that I can dance without crying and talk about my sweet husband with a smile on my face now.
I’m thankful that I’m able to breathe again. I used to feel like I was drowning, always coming up gasping for air, but these days I feel like I’m either swimming or walking on water. There are days that I take my eyes of Jesus and I start to sink and drown again but He reaches out his hand and pulls me back up again and I’m able to catch my breath again. Thank God I can breathe!
I’m thankful for my kiddos (clients). They give me purpose and bring me joy. They’re the reason I survived after losing Mark. They didn’t know what was going on but they saw me sad and gave me hugs, brought me stuffed animals, and just sat with me quietly. It was the sweetest thing. I love my kiddos!
I’m thankful that I’ve figured out the meaning of life and I still have more than half my life left to live. Notice I haven’t said I’m thankful for my house or car or material things. It’s because none of that matters! What matters is how you treat people and how you live, how you serve, WHO you serve. I used to want the car, the kids, the house with the white picket fence. Well my life didn’t go that way. I got divorced after a turmoltuous first marriage, married Mark & then he got laid off when the plant shut down. We struggled with infertility, and financially, and couldn’t buy the house of my dreams. I was spinning my wheel like a hamster in a cage. It’s exhausting when you’re living outside of your means and aren’t satisfied with what you have or where you are in life. Mark taught me how to LIVE and over the course of our marriage I learned how to trust and let go and enjoy life, though I never could let go as much as he did. So I’m thankful for what he taught me and for gaining perspective & wisdom at such a young age so I don’t have to keep running the rat race. I can enjoy life, which is a blessing.
I’m thankful that the hard times have taught me more about myself and strengthened my relationship with God. I’ve seen Him more clearly and I’m not sure that would’ve happened if I was living high on the hill, blissfully unaware. So as much as it hurts and as hard as it is, I’m thankful that I’m making my way through it, even if I am walking through mud sometimes.
Finally, I’m thankful for new beginnings. I get the chance to begin again each morning. Most days are exhausting and tears are shed on a daily basis but I close my eyes at night and get to wake up to a fresh start each morning. Maybe one day it won’t hurt so bad. Maybe someday love will find me again and I’ll start my new beginning with another great love. Who knows? For now I’ll just be thankful for the new beginnings brought on by each sunrise.
So even though it hurts like hell there’s always something to be thankful for.
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