Life Goes On

Today was a long day. Work was busy and I had a presentation this evening so I knew I would be going nonstop until 8. By the time I left work at 4 I was emotionally exhausted from pushing through all day. I’ve learned how to compartmentalize so I can manage my life (side effect of Mark’s loss) so I seem fine on the surface but it’s all underneath. When I push too hard or go for too long it bubbles over. That’s what happened today. Work was good but I had a lot going on in my head and a lot on my to-do list and it was too much for one day. I cried all the way home thinking about dinner and chores and just wanting my husband back.

I got home an emotional wreck just trying to breathe and Abbie had thrown the trash, picked up the groceries and put them away, and she started making dinner. I poured a glass of red wine and we talked and hung out in the kitchen while she cooked and I helped. She has really stepped up and her daddy would be SO proud of her. And it was good!! She cooks better than me 😆 I’m so thankful for her. That was a huge weight off my shoulders today. 

We discussed Alyssa‘a birthday plans. We were supposed to have a quince last weekend but it didn’t happen. Hopefully next year we can have a sweet 16 for her. Either that or a car I guess at that point if she wants it. I miss my girl and can’t wait for her birthday party on Sunday. His family is throwing her a birthday party and it’ll be nice to all have fun as a family again. 

Issac is coming home from his dad’s tomorrow and he starts his senior year on Wednesday. It’s his LAST first day of school. This is definitely going to be a memorable but hard year. I’m so sad Gabe isn’t here to walk through this journey with me. He’s my rock. I’m going to be an emotional wreck. I already am 🤦🏻‍♀️ He was so proud of all 3 of our kids. I am so proud of all 3 of our kids. They have been such troopers through all the heartache and craziness. I can’t imagine my life without them. God really knew what he was doing when he blended our two families together. 

It’s going to be a busy week. Life goes on and right now it feels like it’s going at warp speed. I’m doing my best to keep up. Thank God for these kids of ours! Time for goodnight prayers. Goodnight world.